One day, you come home and see your partner cheating on you with another person. You react quickly and begin yelling at your partner. Your partner calms you down and tells you this will never happen again, repeating the words I love you over and over. You believe your partner because they love you. You live happily for a couple of days before once again the same thing happens. Once again your partner assures you this will never happen.
This is one example of a manipulative relationship. A partner(A) assures that the cheating will stop and usually the other partner(B) believes it. In order to break the cycle of this relationship, the partner(B) getting cheated on should either leave their abusive partner(A) or seek a couples counseling to try and get the problem resolved (if counseling is deemed ineffective, it is best for the manipulated(B) to end the relationship to avoid the emotional trauma).
Manipulative relationships are ones focused around control. One partner(A) feels the need to constantly dominate the other(B), leaving little space for said partner(B) to thing or even make decisions for themselves. Here are the six basic signs of a manipulative relationship:
1) Exchanges of gifts, money, and/or favors are used to stay in control
Within a relationship, it is important to know that gifts, favors, and money do not have to be interchanged. Just because your partner bought something for you or gave something to you or did something for you, does not mean that you have to do or give something to them. Gifts and favors are optional displays of affection, not power tools.
2)Making your partner feel bad for spending time with others.
Its understandable to want to spend time with your significant other, but not to the point of control. You and your partner should have healthy lives away from each other as well as a healthy life together. You both should spend time with friends and family. Making your partner feel bad for wanting to go see a friend or a family member is a sign of a manipulative relationship because you are stopping your partner from having a healthy lifestyle outside of you.
3) "If you really love me..."
This phrase is so old. But, the truth behind this phrase is that if your significant other really loved you, they would respect your decision and never even say this. Never fall for this line.
4) Sexual persuasion through threats
This sign is not as common because it sometimes goes unnoticed. But, if your partner is threatening you, or pushing you in anyway to have some sort of sexual relations with them, it is unhealthy for you and you should evacuate the situation immediately. Consent is an enthusiastic answer not a shrug and a "sureee...". Please ladies know that you do not have to say yes just because you are being threatened. If you are being threatened in an extreme case please call 911 or your local police
5)Makes you feel bad about yourself
A partner should always lift you up and brighten your spirits. They should always encourage you to be the best person you possibly can. They should never be the one who is bring you down or making you feel bad about yourself in any way. Bring you down and lowering your self esteem is how a lot of abusers are able to get away with the abuse, if you are told certain things, over time you will start to believe them.
6)Threatens you, themselves or others
This specific sign happens within a lot of extreme cases. Your partner can be threatening you, your friends, your family, or even their selves in order to get what they want. With any sort of threats it is important to get yourself out of that situation as soon as possible. If you feel that your partner with follow through with their threats, call your local authorities or help lines. But, never give into their threats, it will only feed them more power.
Stay safe girls :)